It’s been a long standing equation in my experience with relationships. But it also is an equation that holds true in just about every endeavor of life. When it comes to people, business ventures, marriage, relationships, you name it… Expectations – Reality = Disillusionment.
That’s the very reason why I spend one full session of premarital counseling talking about the expectations of a couple. It’s astonishing just how divergent young couples can be in terms of what they see marriage being all about. However, it’s also true when it comes to other less intense relationships but important ones such as those with your small group, a ministry, a church, or even close friends.
I know that over the past few weeks the reality of the response of some close friends to various circumstances in my life has left me with some disillusionment. The question is what to do with that disillusionment, isn’t it? We can either take it and stuff it down into our hearts and hold it over these people for the future, or, we can do the right thing which is to courageously address it with them.
I’ve found that most people are very open to being approached about an issue that is building separation between you. In fact they welcome it, and often didn’t know it was happening.
This is true of your church leaders and people who serve all around you. Why not spend some time this weekend thinking about someone that you may need to call and approach about a “reality check” that will keep your relationship on stable footing and enable you to get past disappointment.
It’s a simple formula but it’s profound in it’s implications.
Blessings,
Dr. Jay
relationships are definitely tricky business! They're the best and the worst. Thanks for the equation to keep tucked in my back pocket.
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